


Wish I’d Said it Sooner

by odetostark



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: But needed, Disasters, F/F, Hopeless Lesbians, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, absolute disasters both of them, angsty, i kinda couldn’t help it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 00:21:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17294105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetostark/pseuds/odetostark
Summary: Adora never realized how bad Shadow Weaver had been. Not really, at least not to the full extent. Now she was stuck knowing, painfully aware of all the years she'd witnessed such brutality, and had done absolutely nothing to stop it. Now she didn't know if she'd even get to apologize for it.





	Wish I’d Said it Sooner

**Author's Note:**

> I just,,,i lov them. Stupid gays that deserve the world. Protect them because they can’t take their heads out from their ass to protect themselves. Or really each other for that matter.

Catra had been traveling through the Whispering Woods for hours, and quite frankly, she was tired. Her limbs ached, mind reeled, and if she was _really_ honest, nothing but pure frustration was pushing her onward at this point. And it had been driving her for a while now.

Entrapta had sworn that there was more First One’s tech to be found, and being stuck with the eccentric princess and Scorpia was becoming stifling, so she set off with out a seconds pause. Anything was better than mindless rambling, and whatever it was Scorpia was always spouting.

After failing to do anything other than find the same rock four times, Catra was gritting her teeth in an attempt to convince herself she’d find some shrimp of a new cadet to pester so she could release this energy when she returned to the Fright Zone, and so she _would_ _not_ go punching walls again. Then a familiar voice sent an electric shock up her spine.

 _“For the honor, of Greyskull!”_ A bright blue light emitted from nearby, and Catra was already heading toward it before it had a chance to fade.

Her heart fluttered, whether from excitement or nerves was yet to be decided, as she neared a clearing. Her hands clenched and unclenched in an effort to try and force a decision. Barrel right in, and not even bother with the theatrics, or to be a bit more calculated with her actions?

Finally Catra flung herself up a tree near the opening of the clearing, but not close enough to give her away. A mangled mess of emotions ignited in her chest as she watched the rebels below.

It was still shocking, and maybe a little painful if she was truthful, to see that princess protector, and know that it was Adora under the magic.

There with She-ra, laughing and joking as if they’d know each other for years was not only a rebellion soldier, but a princess as well. Catra felt her mouth shift into a snarl.

She didn’t understand how Adora would leave her for them. The two had protected and stuck up for each other since they were kids, then Adora finds some sword and suddenly Catra no longer existed? Those memories no longer existed?  She couldn’t help the scoff that escaped her. _Whatever_. Catra thought. _I_ _don’t_ _need_ _her_. Though, she was somehow unconvinced.

“Glimmer, can you and Bow give me space for a bit.” She-ra’s voice was strong and Catra hated the way it echoed chest. “I’m still getting used to my powers and I really don’t need either one of you getting hurt while I train.”

“But-“ started the short, and sparkling princess of Brightmoon. The other rebel, who Catra assumed to be Bow stepped forward and smiled kindly.

“Don’t worry Adora, let us know when you’re ready!” He places a hand on the insufferable princess, and Glimmer rolled her eyes. Then with a poof of sparkles the pair was gone.

Moments after the two left She-ra’s smile dropped. Her shoulders rounded slightly, and Catra could have sworn she saw the weight of the world drop onto her old companions shoulders. Nonetheless, the rebellion’s great defender hefted her sword and began what Catra assumed to be training.

She-ra was merely standing with her eyes closed in concentration; except nothing was happening. A faint light seemed to emit from the sword’s jewel, but in comparison to what it did at the sea gate this was laughable. And Catra did just that: laughed at the absolute absurdity of the scene in front of her.

Waiting a few moments later to be sure that Adora’s new friends were actually gone, Catra slowly climbed down the tree and made her way into the clearing.

“Hey Adora,” Catra drawled feigning a calm, even though she was well aware Adora could probably hear the pounding of her heart. She-ra spun on her heels and fixed her sword on Catra; though, once identifying the source the tip of her sword faltered.

“Catra? Why are you here?” Catra couldn’t help to notice a strange glimmer in She-ra’s - no, Adora’s, they were still Adora’s - eyes.

She shrugged. “Got bored of Shadow Weavers moping.” She pretended to absentmindedly pick at her Force Captain badge. “Decided to prey on some rebellion members. Lucky me I found the best one.” Adora sighed irritably, and returned to her normal state, sheathing her sword. Catra raised a brow. “So ready to trust me?”

“You let me go, why would you come to kill me now?” There was something horrifically sad about the look in Adora’s eyes as she said this.

Catra cut her eyes back to her claws determined to appear as uninterested as she could muster. “I told you it wasn’t because I liked you,” she said in poorly controlled frustration, “Don’t get excited, or attached. I just didn’t need you,” she emphasized "you" with a sharp poke into Adora’s chest. “back to take my position.”

The blonde’s face shifted in confusion. “What do you mean? You never wanted that position in the first place. All you ever wanted was to get out of the Fright Zone, and you could do that now!”

Catra finally recognized the glimmer in her eyes. It was hope. Adora still believed there was a chance Catra would join her.

 _Maybe there is._ Suggested a small part of her. She decidedly forced that part down and stomped on it a little for good measure. “I just never realized I was capable of it.” Catra said with a shrug. “I’ve been stuck in your shadow since we were children, it blocked me from seeing how bright my future was.”

Adora, shook her head with a sad smile.  _So many sad things today._ Catra thought.

“You said the Horde had deceived me, and they did, but you’re more brainwashed than I ever was.” Catra’s tail bristled at Adora's words, and a hiss slipped past her teeth, but she kept her lips pressed shut. “You were never stuck in my shadow. I _tried_ to move out of your way, but you always found a way back. You were unwilling to step out. You sabotaged yourself, and fulfilled Shadow Weavers prophecies of failure, because you never really grew up from being that scared kid. Shadow Weaver has you pinned. Has for years.”

The bite in Adora’s tone caused molten lead to crash through Catra’s veins. “Me? You didn’t even know we were the bad guys. We live in a place called the Fright Zone? How dense could you possibly be?”

“I figured that’s what life was like! I didn't know anything different. _We_  didn't know anything different.” Adora retorted, but it was clear there was no fight in her response.

Catra couldn’t help but laugh mirthlessly. “God Adora, you can be so infuriatingly smart, but you have to be the densest person I’ve ever met.” She folded her arms and leaned back against a tree; feeling the last of the fight leaving her. Resisting the urge to run until her legs gave out that was taking its place.

Adora just watched her, with a mix pain and frustration in her eyes. “If you’ve known, all these years, why didn’t you tell me, why didn’t we just run?”

Catra couldn’t bring herself to look away. “I figured you wouldn’t want to leave," She said finally. "or that you already knew.” And as she looked at Adora, _really_ looked at her, she knew the ruse was up. No more mask over Catra's face, because the pain reflected in her best friends eyes was all too familiar.

“Catra.” She hated it. She hated how soft the name was coming from her mouth. She loathed her own name from the years it had been spat at her like acid from Shadow Weaver. She hated that Adora saying it made her want to collapse into her. To hug her and to never let go.

“You saw. You were the only one who _really_ saw how Shadow Weaver treated me. Like a rag doll Adora.” Her voice shattered like a fine china bowl against the ground. “Like a puppet on a string, and it was all to make _you_ dance.”

Adora’s eyes looked like they were open for the first time, and god Catra could just scream. Yell until her voice was hoarse, and vocal chords were torn to shreds because _she really was an idiot, never realized a single thing._

Adora had never realized a thing.

They both sat in that suffocating silence, and allowed it to weigh on their chests. They let words spill between them that neither would ever hear.

Catra breathed with cotton swabs stuffed in her throat, and Adora had simply forgotten what breathing was. A million thoughts were racing through her head. A million memories being replayed, and a little bit of self hatred building with each one. Time seemed to sort of stop for them in that moment. Like she knew, like time herself _knew_ the two needed just a moment to catch back up with themselves. But the moment ended quickly.

Suddenly voices rang off from the left. Catra and Adora both snapped in their direction. Catra looked back to Adora first with a raised brow recognizing the painfully annoying owners of the words that broke silence. She waited a beat, hoping and praying for things she wasn't quite certain of.

Adora still seemed trapped in her own mind. The leaves rustled to show her new friends, and she finally opened her mouth to respond, to apologize, and to not stop apologizing until she had said sorry for every mess up, every failed realization. But when she finally looked Catra was gone, and neither girl was sure when she’d truly be back.


End file.
